It's done. They did it to me. Endless nights of no sleep. Almost constant bickering. The screaming. Oh the screaming. It's done. I had no choice I had to have help. I am but a mere mortal (shocking-I know). So in order to survive. To simply continue to breathe. I had to do it. I sold my soul and crossed over. I'm one of them now. One of those zombies that can't even speak until they get their fix. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to do it. (I've been singing that melody all morning. No, not in my head, out loud. That's how sentenced I feel.) I don't even like the stuff. I only ingest it to know that I am alive. Otherwise it would be very difficult to tell. I would strongly resemble a rather large lump residing either on the couch or propped up by the nearest support beam. I had to do it, I tell you. I had no other choice. You can't judge me. You're not here every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second of every day of every week of every month of every year. And to add injuries to insult it's my birthday. I'm old now and in need of a crutch or two. So why not? Why not join the masses and their sick addiction? Maybe this is my birthday gift to myself. A gift of a few more conscious moments. A few more sain thoughts. Maybe. One can only hope. So sign me up. And mail me the bill.
Starbucks here I come. . .
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
bitter-sweet pecan pie
Holidays can be so bitter sweet. I am reminded how the circle of life stops for no one. My loving Grandmother is feeling the effect of being on the other end of that circle, and for the first time in 53 years she is not planning on cooking one single thing for Thanksgiving. Now, I’m not saying that she should, especially if she doesn’t feel like it, but what is Thanksgiving without your grandmother’s pecan pie?!
She purchased a couple of pre-made pies from the store and is going to bring them and a warm smile. I know that it could be even worse next year. We could be without her smile. Her time here is getting shorter and I understand that, it’s just not as easy to swallow as her pecan pie. I already miss her.
She purchased a couple of pre-made pies from the store and is going to bring them and a warm smile. I know that it could be even worse next year. We could be without her smile. Her time here is getting shorter and I understand that, it’s just not as easy to swallow as her pecan pie. I already miss her.
Buzzzz
My 3 year old tells me to come and meet her new friend "Buzz". I pretend to shake hands with "Buzz" assuming that he is another imaginary friend. (we have quite a few running around here) But she was quick to inform me that I had missed Buzz completely. Apparently Buzz is a fly. (this is what the quarantine has done to us).
She then tells me that I am not to hurt her friend "Buzz" by killing him. Of course after she leaves the room and "Buzz", apparently hungry, helps himself to her lunch, I start chasing him around the house with some reading material that I thought he might find interesting. I missed. I hear her sweet voice call from the next room, "Mom, don't hurt my friend Buzz". I miss again. A little less sweet, "Mom, don't Killll Buzzz!" Then out of frustration I call back, "Honey, I don't like your friend Buzz! I think he's nasty and disgusting and I don't like him!" Then a little more sweetly she replies, " Oh, mom, he just needs a bath!"
Kids!
She then tells me that I am not to hurt her friend "Buzz" by killing him. Of course after she leaves the room and "Buzz", apparently hungry, helps himself to her lunch, I start chasing him around the house with some reading material that I thought he might find interesting. I missed. I hear her sweet voice call from the next room, "Mom, don't hurt my friend Buzz". I miss again. A little less sweet, "Mom, don't Killll Buzzz!" Then out of frustration I call back, "Honey, I don't like your friend Buzz! I think he's nasty and disgusting and I don't like him!" Then a little more sweetly she replies, " Oh, mom, he just needs a bath!"
Kids!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
I am now the neighborhood snoop
I am apparently now the neighborhood snoop.
Here’s the story:
My family and I have been "quarantined" because my 3 month old son is going to have to have open heart surgery in couple of months, and we can't risk getting him sick before his surgery. And because we can not do any group socializing, we have not found a church in the area, or made any new friends. So I have made an extra special effort to befriend the new neighbors around me. One of the neighbors have already decided that we are weirdoes. I haven’t even begun to decipher why. There are way too many possibilities.
But there are these other neighbors across the street that I especial would like to get to know and so far, they have remained friendly. So as you can imagine I was quite trilled when they asked me to feed their new puppy while they were away for the weekend. Now understand that the “quarantine” has started to mess with our minds because I had the bright idea to take my two year old across the street with me to play with the puppy. Well, the poor little girl was just so thrilled to be out of our house that she ran amuck in theirs!
After tackling her three quarters of the way up the stairs upon immediate entry into the house, I wrangle her outside where the puppy, obviously “quarantined” as well was as happy to see her as she was to see him. Wrestling ensued. Then after much refereeing I decide they need a brake, so back through the house we go. Only, as I reach the front door I notice a terribly large menacing scorpion. Yes I said scorpion.
So I decide that if I kill this monster I will be saving my new friends lives thereby insuring our life long friendship, so I attack! It is surprisingly resilient and I asses that I will need to put a little more weight behind my next blow. By the way, I’m supper tiny, almost non-existent (ha) so when my daughter wriggles free from my grasp I am momentarily relieved to have both hands free for this battle I have found myself in. The relief lasted about 30 seconds, and then after securing our new best friends safety, I go in search of a very nosey 2 year old.
Where did I find her? Well in the master bedroom of course! I immediately see my new found friendship slipping away as I notice something in her hand and the top drawer of the night stand open slightly. By slightly I mean the size of my two years olds hand. She proudly displays her treasure for me to admire. I, by this time feel like I am being tried and found guilty. I grab the kid, throw her over my shoulder, kicking and screaming of course; take the “treasure” and throw it down on the night stand and run for my life! Once home I try to asses the situation.
Do I tell them the truth?
If I do, there is a very good chance that I could sound like – one a crazy person, making up an excuse for rummaging through their drawers – or two a very stupid parent that would bring a two year old that has not seen the light of day in over a week, to run free through a strangers house.
I told the truth, but I’m not stupid. I had enough sense to put the dead scorpion just outside the front door for proof. One- of my bravery, and two- of my honesty. . . . .
Now who would not want to be my friend?!
Here’s the story:
My family and I have been "quarantined" because my 3 month old son is going to have to have open heart surgery in couple of months, and we can't risk getting him sick before his surgery. And because we can not do any group socializing, we have not found a church in the area, or made any new friends. So I have made an extra special effort to befriend the new neighbors around me. One of the neighbors have already decided that we are weirdoes. I haven’t even begun to decipher why. There are way too many possibilities.
But there are these other neighbors across the street that I especial would like to get to know and so far, they have remained friendly. So as you can imagine I was quite trilled when they asked me to feed their new puppy while they were away for the weekend. Now understand that the “quarantine” has started to mess with our minds because I had the bright idea to take my two year old across the street with me to play with the puppy. Well, the poor little girl was just so thrilled to be out of our house that she ran amuck in theirs!
After tackling her three quarters of the way up the stairs upon immediate entry into the house, I wrangle her outside where the puppy, obviously “quarantined” as well was as happy to see her as she was to see him. Wrestling ensued. Then after much refereeing I decide they need a brake, so back through the house we go. Only, as I reach the front door I notice a terribly large menacing scorpion. Yes I said scorpion.
So I decide that if I kill this monster I will be saving my new friends lives thereby insuring our life long friendship, so I attack! It is surprisingly resilient and I asses that I will need to put a little more weight behind my next blow. By the way, I’m supper tiny, almost non-existent (ha) so when my daughter wriggles free from my grasp I am momentarily relieved to have both hands free for this battle I have found myself in. The relief lasted about 30 seconds, and then after securing our new best friends safety, I go in search of a very nosey 2 year old.
Where did I find her? Well in the master bedroom of course! I immediately see my new found friendship slipping away as I notice something in her hand and the top drawer of the night stand open slightly. By slightly I mean the size of my two years olds hand. She proudly displays her treasure for me to admire. I, by this time feel like I am being tried and found guilty. I grab the kid, throw her over my shoulder, kicking and screaming of course; take the “treasure” and throw it down on the night stand and run for my life! Once home I try to asses the situation.
Do I tell them the truth?
If I do, there is a very good chance that I could sound like – one a crazy person, making up an excuse for rummaging through their drawers – or two a very stupid parent that would bring a two year old that has not seen the light of day in over a week, to run free through a strangers house.
I told the truth, but I’m not stupid. I had enough sense to put the dead scorpion just outside the front door for proof. One- of my bravery, and two- of my honesty. . . . .
Now who would not want to be my friend?!
all about me. . .
Welcome to the 2006 edition of "getting to know your friends."
1. What time did you get up this morning? 1:42am, 3:08am, 5:28am, 7:23am, 9:32am
2. Diamonds or pearls? yes please
3. What was the last film you saw at the theatre? Lake House
4. Favorite TV show? hmmm. . .(don't judge me) Boston Legal, and Grey's Anatomy
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? grapefruit at 1:50am, and toast at 10:30am
6. What's your favorite cuisine? Anything that I do not have to cook and then clean up (Right now the baby is craving fish and fruit)
7. What foods do you dislike? marshmallows (if you want to consider that a food) Chili with chili powder. And of course anything that takes a long time to prepare and a mess to clean up
8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Chocolate
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Worship mix
10. What kind of vehicle do you drive? double stroller
12. What characteristics do you despise? Obsessiveness. It's so hard to get through to or reason with an obsessed person.
13. Favorite item of clothing? PJ's (large ones)
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? ......someplace quite, with a beautiful view and a comfortable hammock ........
15. What color is your bathroom? a dark shade of cream on the walls, trimmed in white. I haven't actually decorated it yet, I'm considering splashed of red for accent-but I want it soothing. . . .hmmmm
16. Favorite brand of clothing? who cares?
18. What was your most memorable birthday? 15th (oh my gosh that was SO long ago!)
20. Favorite sport to watch? My husband at the firing range.
23. What fabric detergent do you use? Tide with bleach 'cause it's the best!
25. Do you wish on stars? I've never actually BEEN on a star, but I'm sure it I ever found myself there I would be wishing for some help
26. When did you last cry? A few days ago. . . .I'm 9 months preg. give me a break.
27. Do you like your handwriting? Yes. But mi spellling is enother mater. . .
28. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Nah, I'm not my type
29. Are you a daredevil? Not anymore. Kids will do that to ya'.
30. Do looks matter? I hope not
31. How do you release anger? I become passive aggressive -sorry
32. What were your favorite toys as a child? Wow! my bike, my dolls, my camera, good times. . .
33. What class in High School was totally useless? Spellling oviously
34. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Unfortunately. It gets me in a lot of trouble -sorry
35. Favorite movies? I don't know. I like to watch movies, but I don't like to watch them multiple times. . .
36. What are your nicknames? Super amazing wonderful person
37. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? nope
38. Do you think that you are strong? No, I KNOW that I am strong, come here and let me sho' ya'!
39. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? yes, please
40. What are your favorite colors? The color of my kids eyes. (a beautiful dark blue)
41. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? my sense of modesty. I really need to come to terms with just how wonderful I am. (and I think ya'll should too)
see #34
42. Who do you miss the most? My grandmother
43. Do you want everyone you sent this to send it back? most definitely, there will be a pop quiz
44. What color pants are you wearing? pants?
45. What are you listening to right now? My 3 year old playing in the room with her imaginary friends (this one is a bear)
46. What did you last eat? Lunch- chicken n' pasta
47. If you were a crayon what color would you be? blue
48. Last person you talked to on the phone? My husband
49. Favorite Drink? Tea, water
50. Do you wear contacts? Nope
51. Favorite Day(s) of the Year? Of course the Days my children were born. And of course the day I married my husband. And any day where my kids sigh and say, "It's a wonderful day mom."
52. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Scary Movies with Happy Endings....so sweet
53. Summer or winter? I've heard winter is nice. . . .
54. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs from clean people, kisses from my kids
55. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Dessert? yes please
56. What Book(s) Are You Reading? Beth Moore Bible study, and a book on personality profiling
57. What's On Your Mouse Pad? mouse pad?
58. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? I didn't watch TV last night, I saw a live wrestling match in my living room.
59. Favorite Smells? Gardena, plumaria, roses, and babies of course
60. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Stones
61. What's the furthest you've been from home? Switzerland
1. What time did you get up this morning? 1:42am, 3:08am, 5:28am, 7:23am, 9:32am
2. Diamonds or pearls? yes please
3. What was the last film you saw at the theatre? Lake House
4. Favorite TV show? hmmm. . .(don't judge me) Boston Legal, and Grey's Anatomy
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? grapefruit at 1:50am, and toast at 10:30am
6. What's your favorite cuisine? Anything that I do not have to cook and then clean up (Right now the baby is craving fish and fruit)
7. What foods do you dislike? marshmallows (if you want to consider that a food) Chili with chili powder. And of course anything that takes a long time to prepare and a mess to clean up
8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Chocolate
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Worship mix
10. What kind of vehicle do you drive? double stroller
12. What characteristics do you despise? Obsessiveness. It's so hard to get through to or reason with an obsessed person.
13. Favorite item of clothing? PJ's (large ones)
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? ......someplace quite, with a beautiful view and a comfortable hammock ........
15. What color is your bathroom? a dark shade of cream on the walls, trimmed in white. I haven't actually decorated it yet, I'm considering splashed of red for accent-but I want it soothing. . . .hmmmm
16. Favorite brand of clothing? who cares?
18. What was your most memorable birthday? 15th (oh my gosh that was SO long ago!)
20. Favorite sport to watch? My husband at the firing range.
23. What fabric detergent do you use? Tide with bleach 'cause it's the best!
25. Do you wish on stars? I've never actually BEEN on a star, but I'm sure it I ever found myself there I would be wishing for some help
26. When did you last cry? A few days ago. . . .I'm 9 months preg. give me a break.
27. Do you like your handwriting? Yes. But mi spellling is enother mater. . .
28. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Nah, I'm not my type
29. Are you a daredevil? Not anymore. Kids will do that to ya'.
30. Do looks matter? I hope not
31. How do you release anger? I become passive aggressive -sorry
32. What were your favorite toys as a child? Wow! my bike, my dolls, my camera, good times. . .
33. What class in High School was totally useless? Spellling oviously
34. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Unfortunately. It gets me in a lot of trouble -sorry
35. Favorite movies? I don't know. I like to watch movies, but I don't like to watch them multiple times. . .
36. What are your nicknames? Super amazing wonderful person
37. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? nope
38. Do you think that you are strong? No, I KNOW that I am strong, come here and let me sho' ya'!
39. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? yes, please
40. What are your favorite colors? The color of my kids eyes. (a beautiful dark blue)
41. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? my sense of modesty. I really need to come to terms with just how wonderful I am. (and I think ya'll should too)
see #34
42. Who do you miss the most? My grandmother
43. Do you want everyone you sent this to send it back? most definitely, there will be a pop quiz
44. What color pants are you wearing? pants?
45. What are you listening to right now? My 3 year old playing in the room with her imaginary friends (this one is a bear)
46. What did you last eat? Lunch- chicken n' pasta
47. If you were a crayon what color would you be? blue
48. Last person you talked to on the phone? My husband
49. Favorite Drink? Tea, water
50. Do you wear contacts? Nope
51. Favorite Day(s) of the Year? Of course the Days my children were born. And of course the day I married my husband. And any day where my kids sigh and say, "It's a wonderful day mom."
52. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Scary Movies with Happy Endings....so sweet
53. Summer or winter? I've heard winter is nice. . . .
54. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs from clean people, kisses from my kids
55. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Dessert? yes please
56. What Book(s) Are You Reading? Beth Moore Bible study, and a book on personality profiling
57. What's On Your Mouse Pad? mouse pad?
58. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? I didn't watch TV last night, I saw a live wrestling match in my living room.
59. Favorite Smells? Gardena, plumaria, roses, and babies of course
60. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Stones
61. What's the furthest you've been from home? Switzerland
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